A Sinful Life

I found myself guilty…

Guilty of laziness… Guilty of mistakes… Guilty of Sins… Guilty of selfishness… Guilty of hunger… Guilty of pride…

Guilty of loving someone in my past… ALso guilty of loving someone who can never be mine…

I wasn’t able to do my best as a result my grades were obviously low…

My mind was still not focus… damn it has been a long time already…

Now the question is will I continue to love again…

Or just think to be more directed at more important things like schooling…

I’ll crack… eventually I need some peers…

Anong magagawa ko wala me barkada dun…

Just hours ago I feel so relieve… kahit paano na kakausap ko kakambal ko… at kagabi best friend ko… Hirap nasa malayo kayo hehehe

checking my celphone wala naman importanteng nagtext… Am I hoping for someone to text me… Maybe yes… I am hoping for some persons to text me…

I’m old… yeah old enough to make my own decision…

Yet I still do some foolish shits and go around acting like an immature being…

Oh… nothing really last…my capabilities are slowing disappearing…

WHat will I do…

Maybe sleep and hope to wake with a better tomorrow…

It took me 11 days before I finally updated my blog…

A sinful life…

Lately and recently I hate to admit that I’m on a bad study habits…

I was altered by the rain last Wednesday…

I’m breathing… the rain keeps on pouring and it was quite hard…

The time is 2030, my  joyful and relieving math discussions with Dr. Silva and company had just finished…

On my way back… I was brisk walking… I need to move fast… It is obviously raining and I got nothing prepared…

After several minutes as I approach the 7-11 convienient store, a stranger popped out from the entrance…

In my hurry, I was only able to make a quick glympse…

He looks familiar, someone I knew…

I kept on walking… until he went toward me and offer me a space in his umbrella…

Without further second thought, I said thanks… Followed by the request, "Wag na, baka nakakaabala pa ko sa iyo…"

Unexpectedly I was tickled by his response, "Nakakaawa ka baka magkasakit ka"

I didn’t take another look at his face, I just kept on walking straight… In the short walk came conversations until I finally reached my dorm…

I felt a little special at that point… "Imagine hinatid pa ko hanggang sa dorm ko, eh dun pa siya sa kanto before ang dorm ko…"

At that point I wasn’t able to identify him, I felt a little sorry…

But that moment I felt like it was my birthday… Sure-pass in Math053 and someone cares for me after some time… hehehe it was Gerome’s birthday…

A day after…

I wake up very late… It was already 1130…

After some hours I was engaged with the game Battle Ship in War Craft 3… during the process, the countless tease from my frog bring forth the devilish attitude of mine…

My LORENZO101, after Lorenzo hahaha… It is the ignore till death… hehehe…

Things just messed messed up… hours later, the next day 0210…

LORENZO101 still in effect as I ignore my frog…

Now I am only wishing for the passing in Math053 to increase… You might call me selfish but I just want some people to learn their lessons… hahaha…

My frog will not pass anyway… 35% pa lang siya, 20% lang ang finals, passing 60%, dasal na lang siya ibaba sa 55%… GRrrrr… I’m Bad…. I’m Evil

My visions during the first two weeks of the term is slowly becoming noticeable… Will it really occur?

My heart and my soul cannot coexist…

After a long time, all I could say is I’m tired…

Until now I look at myself, It resembles a funny looking guy…

Seeking something that cannot be mine…

I’m such a fool, nothing really changes….

Last night an odd person told me that I’m serious. Am I a serious person? Hahaha… How I wish I could just be one. Serious with my studies so I could achieve high grades… And not looking back at some issues…

Today I have nothing… I dont have the numbers also I do not have the statistics… Perhaps it is simply me all alone in my cradle…

My heart is afraid to open its gate. Eventhough the feeling is obvious but no one bothers to reveal…

With a snap of a finger you might not even know that it’s gone… Everything is gone with the wind…

Ah… It has been a while…

The tension has finally build up…

I’m now again in my own wrongly created world…

Still waiting for someone to simply ask, ""miss me?"

Day by day, nothing really changes…

*With a still mind, I come to theorized that you don’t fucking need me… sorry for the harsh word…

*Also I don’t really need you either…

*literally speaking especially to 4 persons, yeah I think 4 persons…

Branded long time ago as someone with a stone heart (thanks to the school’s guidance), I probably would like to turn out that way again… hehehe…

I’m not anymore that heartless freak, thanks to someone who used to know me and I used to know. For in all circumstances I would like to shout at that imp, you don’t know me anymore and you really do not know me!!!!

Suddenly with alll the current twists, Ahem there is a small possibility for a cold-hearted individual be revived inside of me…

So selfish of me to think this way… Hey I need to be selfish once in a while…

For the meantime this perhaps is how I want to play this game called life, with a kicker…